Fable (motivated by true events)

This is a slightly embellished recounting of events that took place on 7 November, 2009.

I was sleeping outside, on the patio in front of my house in my bug net tent, as is my usual custom, when at roughly 1:30 am I was awoken from a pleasant sleep. The impetus for this nocturnal disturbance was a dog several houses down making known his situation at the time. Since I’m quickly becoming a seasoned linguist (currently speaking English and learning Bambara, French, and old man gibberish), I was able to make out that the dog somewhere in the distance was saying “Hey, hey… hey”, which as anyone who understands the universal dog tongue can tell you is slang for “I found something I deem interesting enough for everyone to know about!”.

The dog was referring to the night sky. The moon was especially bright. It was as if night was simply a black cloth spread over the entirety of the daylight heavens, with all the stars being minute gaps between woven threads and the moon being an exceptionally pronounced hole that was letting the sun through with all it’s fury. It was almost as if a dim version of daytime had descended. I could understand why the dog might be concerned by this as there is undoubtedly a proper time for both night and day.

However, after a few shouts from dog number one, a second dog joined in, officially making it a canine conversation. Again, given my newfound abilities as a linguist I was able to determine that dog number two was offering some reassurance to dog number one that the night was functioning properly and that what he was experiencing was simply an evening of exceptionally intense solar radiation in the form of lunar illumination. Dog number two then added that he had found something interesting as well, due mostly to the exceptionally bright moon. A cat.

After a brief exchange the two dogs decided it was best to do some further investigating into the exact whereabouts and activities of said cat… who up until this point had chosen to remain silent in hopes that dog number two had mistaken her exact position.

When it became clear to the cat that dog number two was no fool, and after realizing that things were becoming more dire for herself every moment, the cat decided to break silence and said in the most forceful and shrill British manner cat is capable of, “I wish to make my sentiments fully known in the most animated language possible. Proceed one step closer and I shall raise up a most unwelcome ruckus for you, my unwelcome pursuers!”, which in American English roughly translates to “Get the hell away from me, you dogs!”. (What a cat with a British accent was doing in a village in the middle of rice fields in Mali is beyond me, but I swear it’s true.) Unfortunately the cat didn’t realize her own vocal capabilities and ended up creating a ruckus anyway.

Apparently there was a rooster not too far off who turned out to be a rather light sleeper for a rooster, and until this point had been in sound slumber. The outcry from the cat brought the rooster abruptly out of its deeply lucid attitude, and in his startled state discovered that is was fairly light out. Thinking he had overslept, the rooster quickly made fast his roosterly duty and took a deep breath, stretched his neck forward, cocked his head to one side, and bellowed “Wake up everyone!” and then continued to do so as it appeared that all his fellow roosters had also been sleeping on the job.

All the other roosters in village, being a tight knit group, awoke quickly and joined in with the wakeup call. Soon the whole village was aware that morning had unexpectedly arrived at 1:30 am instead of the usual 6 am.

The quickly assembled wakeup call soon had the rest of the dog community going. Conversing about the continuing rooster call, the dogs conducted a surprisingly well organized discussion in which dogs number one and two informed the rest of the group regarding the situation with the moon and the cat and the probable cause of the rooster rambling. The dogs then inquired as to whether the cat, who was in their opinion responsible for the whole mess, had been apprehended. Then as a unified group, attempted to explain to the misinformed roosters what was really going on.

Despite the fact that West African roosters don’t speak West African dog, it didn’t take long for them realize that the dogs knew something they didn’t. Apparently one of the roosters then took the time to examine the sky more carefully and realized that the stars were indeed poking through the blanket of night. Once the roosters were of one mind apologies were meekly uttered and everyone settled back in to repeat the drill several hours later at the appropriate time. No one is sure where the cat ended up… probably for the best.